she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize