The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
