sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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