I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Randomize
