being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We have so much sex to catch up on
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
