The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just pynch a tree in the face
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
