insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize