why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize