There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
