the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
