i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
