so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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