i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
