Cold hands, warm shart.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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