Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just want nice things and good sex
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize