I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize