So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
