it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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