i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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