I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I think people are normalizing furries
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize