You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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