In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
