Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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