I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
