we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
