whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
