Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
