Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
look no pants
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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