Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
