dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
