you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
