By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
