Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.

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(260): View more from Indiana

My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck

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(330): View more from Ohio

theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.

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(786): View more from Florida

She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick

(305): View more from Florida

I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.

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(618): View more from Illinois

We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place

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(518): View more from New York

she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night

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