his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
