and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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