Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
