Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
