I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
