I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
