Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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