i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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