We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just found a bag of teeth...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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