My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
