Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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