Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
