Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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