She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
