Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
