he wants to bone in the snuggie
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
