stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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