you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
