JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Can vaginas get frostbite?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
