Your face is a jimmy john
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
