im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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