I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
