Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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