just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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