What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
