If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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