week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
