its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize