pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
